GRIZZLY PEAR

written snapshots

Category: Notes

  • Mulan, Niki Caro, 2020

    Last year we watched the new Mulan after watching the original animated Mulan a year before that. Accented Cinema did an excellent comparison on these movies. Everyone else also properly panned the new show as well.

    The live-action film movie has stunning locations marred by ridiculously outlandish characters. I understand why the actors would take the gig, but I don’t see why any self-respecting Asian would pay money to watch this new movie.

    It’s a mish-mash of exotic Asian-ness, as respectful of the culture as the cheesy dub on a bad kung fu flick.

    Then again, as an Asian American, I’ve always had a tortured relationship with Asia on the big screen. I’ve avoided movies like Lost in Translation or Last Samurai because I am particularly uninterested in a film centered on a white protagonist in an Asian setting. But as an American, a truly Asian film is too foreign to be relatable.

    When I studied abroad in Paris, I met an Algerian who dropped the perfect line about immigrant life, “living with your ass on two seats.”

    To be honest, life as an Asian American is pretty good. Things are a bit crazy at the moment and I’m well aware that things could turn much worse. But generally, the worst I have to deal with is being constantly aware of my otherness. Then again, I presume white kids have plenty of hang-ups from their adolescence that they have to deal with.

    Even so, it does suck to never see yourself well portrayed on the big screen. However, I’m not a big fan of movies, so maybe it’s my lack of interest to blame? Maybe it’s a chicken and egg problem?

    I’ve heard of some recent offerings that I should most likely watch at some point, but I keep going back to that exchange at the end of Chan is Missing. It perfectly captures the tension of being Asian American – life as an immigrant and a native and always an other in both worlds.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhgSui0V_qY&feature=youtu.be&t=3435

    Mulan has only diminished further in my mind’s eye as time passes. I’ve heard good things about the new Shang Chi movie, though Accented Cinema did a pointed critique, “Shang Chi and the Perpetual Foreigners” that has cooled my interest in film as well, not that I’m going to a movie theater any time soon.

  • Divination

    Growing up conservative Christian, divination carried an illicit edge.

    But a Tarot deck is just a normal deck of cards with a fifth all-trump suit. Still spooky?

    A while back, my daughter and I messed around with a tarot deck to create a variant on War that improves upon the original (the big change was that we evened out the players’ decks after each round; whoever won more cards banked the extras).

    With the Tarot deck in hand, I also played around with a card reading after the kids went to sleep.

    The booklet that came with this deck was very specific. The cups = love, coins = money, etc. Each card had specific effects in its orientation and place within the tableaux.

    Now, this is where the religious folks have it right. This is not good entertainment. Such a practice with specific prompts will put things in the head that don’t need to be there.

    However, that’s not an issue with divination in general.

    I also played with the Decktet, a modern deck designed in 2008. The creator has published suggestions for using his cards for readings with an open interpretive system. Instead of relying upon concrete predictive functions for each card, a Decktet reading creates a network of relationships between the cards. This method is much more suggestive and might be a great way to unearth the unconscious.

    A few months later, I started messing around with the I Ching. Maybe I’ll revisit the Tarot one day, but it’s hard to beat several thousand years of Chinese divination.

  • Parent’s Tao Te Ching, William Martin, 1999

    Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die. Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care of itself.

    I came across this quote during the pandemic. I immediately put it at the top of my personal core values document.

    Naturally, I was eager to read the entire book, but the library does not have a copy. Fortunately, I found a free loaner at archive.org.

    The book is great.

    Admittedly, its appeal is limited to the already persuaded. But if you are sympathetic to woo eastern philosophy and a permissive parental style, this book is for you.

    Parenting is stressful at times, worrying at others. Especially during a pandemic when all choices are lackluster (at best). One is haunted by a nagging sense of opportunity cost as the kids lose years of their childhood, trapped at home.

    This book is a salve for such concerns. The basic message is to take your foot off the gas. Let the kids grow up and grow up with them.

    It is also an insightful approach towards the Tao De Ching. In the past, I’ve had difficulty reading through the original. It’s heavy dense stuff that is purposely impenetrable to the uninitiated.

    This parenting version focuses only upon this facet of humanity, making it much easier to read. I’ve read the original enough to feel comfortable claiming that this version reflects the spirit of Laozi. Indeed, it can be a lens to help you navigate the original work.

    Of course, this book is watered down compared to the original. But if it resonates, what more do you want?

    While writing my first draft, I had every intention to purchase my own copy. Since then my ardor has cooled. This is no fault of this book; I’m buried in too many great books and classics! As I read more, the backlog increases.

    One day I’ll figure out how to control my reading appetite. Maybe I’ll pick up this book then.

    Even so, this book is highly recommended. Plus you should check out William Martin’s blog; he posts regularly.

  • Play-Doh

    Squeeze. Roll into a long string. Make a big donut. Cut into little pieces.

    repeat.

    repeat.

    repeat.

    Put it away.

    Exciting stuff.
    Do it again, with a different color.
    Ad nauseam.

    The girl has grown out of this phase.
    He will too.
    Kids are fickle.
    Maybe tomorrow,
    no warning.

    So many things I thought we’d play again.
    The day was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
    Squeezing play dough all afternoon.

    When he was exactly 1,109 days old.

    Leaving a warm memory and a blog poem.

  • OPM.09 (notes on) The Leadership Pipeline, Ram Charan, Stephen Drotter, James Noel, 2011

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    (notes on) The Leadership Pipeline

    Despite its title, this book did not improve my leadership skills.

    It was more valuable than a collection of tips and tricks. This book helped me plan my career path by forecasting the unique pressures that confront leaders in each level of the hierarchy.

    The key premise is simple. There are seven different layers of leadership, and they are fundamentally different from each other. Success after a promotion does not merely require more from one’s previous position. Each step requires a qualitatively different type of work.

    The book describes the responsibilities from (1) leading oneself (2) leading others (3) leading leaders … all the way to (7) the top of a global mega-corp. In my career, I’ve had few opportunities to manage staff. By becoming an OPM, I suddenly skipped a whole level, jumping from leading myself to leading leaders, without the intermediate step of leading others.

    By naming the hierarchies and their specific pressures, the book gave foresight into this unique position. It also prepared me for navigating the hierarchical governmental organization, quite a change from my time in small firms. It made me aware of the challenges that confront our client agencies and my own management team.

    The greater empathy for my supervisors has framed my internal dialogue concerning what I want to with my career. Going from architect to OPM was an obvious paradigm shift. However, I couldn’t have guessed that paradigm shifts of similar magnitude accompany each step up within the division.

    Promotions obviously come with greater stress and commitments. Less obviously, promotions include a sacrifice of enjoyable work tasks.

    In private practice, such tradeoffs are cushioned by financial compensation, but pay grades in the public sector is constrained. Is the extra stress worth just a nominal bump? The higher status is nice, but is it worth giving up pleasurable tasks at work?

    The Leadership Pipeline is highly recommended for someone who has recently entered management. The practices that helped us reach the next level won’t automatically translate to success. Excellence in management is achieved by adjusting properly to these new realities. This book gives fair warning that each step up the ladder involves a paradigm shift of fundamental responsibilities.

    There is another concept from the book that I’ve often pondered. It recommends that companies develop a parallel technical track for promoting individuals who don’t want to join the ranks of management. I’m happy that I hopped into management, but architecture would be greatly served by developing clearer career paths for technical folks who have no interest in managing other humans. In private practice, it often feels that technical proficiency is merely optional. Architects are devalued within our own profession, and I have no idea how to fix this problem.

    ~

    One Question

    How do you manage the tradeoffs of changing responsibilities as you’ve earned promotions up the leadership pipeline? Have you ever turned down a promotion?

    Hit reply and let’s chat!

    ~

    Three Links

    The Growth EQ has a good post about using Science, History, and Practical experience to evaluate the suggestions of others.

    Five questions from Seth Godin to knock you out of the comfort zone, especially if you’re in a rut tackling little tasks with raw efficiency.

    Loes Heerink has a stunning photo series of merchants with bicycles overloaded with produce and flowers.

    … and a photo.

    Sewage Pump, Dunedin City, New Zealand, November 1904

    ~

    Thanks for reading the OPM letter! I’d love to have a conversation if you have any feedback. I hope you found some prompts to stretch your craft and relationships as a curious Owner PM. See you next week!

    Stay humble, be kind, and keep experimenting!
    Justus Pang, RA

  • Space Dandy, Shinichiro Watanabe, 2014

    Pure over-the-top gratuitous absurdity.

    Yes, there’s the fan service with the ladies at Boobies and lingering shots of Scarlet.

    But mainly it’s a rollicking romp through the wacky profundities of space.

    The show is a visual feast. Each episode director was given total artistic freedom, featuring a multiplicity of art styles.

    And as always for a Watanabe project, excellent music.

    It definitely belongs in the top tier of Watanabe’s catalog with Cowboy Bebop and Samurai Champloo. It feels sacrilegious, but I wonder if it surpasses its two companions.

    I hesitate to proclaim as to which one is “best”.

    But would I rewatch Space Dandy before the others?

    Yes.

    A few months after this initial draft, my opinion of this anime has only increased. Bebop is still a must-watch for its style and its place in its canon. Samurai Champloo is Watanabe’s most coherent story. However Space Dandy has cemented itself in my favorite work. This show is certainly the first one I’d rewatch.

  • Terror in Resonance, Shinichiro Watanabe, 2014

    After scanning the web, I find myself aligned with the consensus about this show. As such, I’ll leave the deep thoughts to the folks with domain expertise and just post a couple (spoiler-free) comments.

    First, the most appealing aspect of non-American cinema is that we can never be confident that things will end well for the protagonists. American films might kill a secondary character, but it rarely ends badly for the headliner. Asian films don’t show such mercy, so the anticipation of potential doom hangs over the entire series. It might not be noticeable for a single feature-length film, however, such uncertainty is almost unbearable when the experience is extended over 11 days (watching only one episode a night).

    Second, this show has a moment that is a gorgeous combo of narrative, graphics, and music to create a mid-story climax. The movie Whisper of the Heart and the show Kids on the Slope have similar climatic scenes that absolutely capture the moment with imagery and music. This alone makes it worth your time to watch the first half of Terror in Resonance. Unfortunately, it is no shame to leave Terror after the singular moment (unlike the other two works).

    My opinion of the show has only diminished over time. I occasionally revisit the aforementioned moment on youtube, but this show is in the bottom tier of the Shinichiro Watanabe catalog, slightly better than Carole and Tuesday. While the show was good enough that I don’t regret the time, I won’t rewatch it.

  • Kids on the Slope, Shiniciro Watanabe, 2012

    Given my appreciation of Shinichiro Watanabe (Cowboy Bebop and Samurai Champloo), I should have pursued this show years ago, but I wasn’t interested after hearing that this was a kids show. A few months ago, we were looking for something to watch and we were intrigued by the fact it centered around jazz.

    While technically true, this series is better described as a teen romance drama with a jazz motif. Even though teen romance is even more distant from my preferences, and I still enjoyed it. With only twelve episodes, the plot moves at a good clip. Midway through, there is a a moment that has “all the feels” and is fully earned. I’ve revisited that moment a few times on youtube.

    As someone else has quipped, the problem with teenagers is that they’re children in an adults bodies, injected with a whole bunch of hormones. As a teen drama, this show has a whole lot of that in spades, with other complications due to a lack of communication between the characters. Then again, I don’t think there would be a show without such snafus.

    Fortunately, I avoided love drama in my own teens, however I didn’t appreciate the freedom that I had at that age without the responsibilities of a family. Then again such a realization is only made after the passage of time. In the moment, one only feels trapped in the constraints of the present without the benefit of hindsight that comes with age. Then again, that might have been a good thing, I could have been overwhelmed with too many options.

    Then again, those days aren’t coming back so I shouldn’t rue the past. Hopefully my future is still wide open. Plus, I don’t have to worry about finding a life partner!

    As I revisit this post before publishing, I appreciate having watched the show, but feel no urge to re-watch it. It is highly recommended if you dig jazz and don’t mind some romance, but I don’t consider this a must watch classic. Then again, I just got sucked into watching an hour of random youtube videos while editing this post. In comparison to such unstructured silliness, this show is a better use of one’s time.

  • Our Pancakes, August 2021

    My bread is constantly evolving from one recipe to another, but my pancakes have remained consistent. The recipe hasn’t changed much from I posted it three years ago.

    ±240g (1 cup) starter
    1 egg
    1 tablespoon sugar
    2 tablespoons olive oil
    1/4 teaspoon salt
    1/8 teaspoon baking soda or baking powder, whatever you got.

    2017

    Nowadays, I throw in two eggs, add a second tablespoon of sugar, and use less the salt. But really, it’s basically the same recipe from 2017. Pancakes have always been a loose recipe to use up old sourdough starter that would otherwise be discarded.

    This weekend, I made the ultimate step in the recipe. Try to see what’s missing.

    ±240g (1 cup) starter
    2 eggs (seperate the yolks and whites)
    2 tablespoons sugar
    2 tablespoons olive oil
    1/4 teaspoon salt

    2021

    Yup, we’ve gotten rid of the baking soda!

    The girl wanted to have pancakes on Saturday morning, but I didn’t have sourdough starter to cook with. When I make non-sourdough pancakes, I usually add extra baking soda to push the good rise.

    However, my wife hates the chemical flavor from baking soda, so I googled “pancakes without baking soda”. The top hit worked out perfectly. The short process:

    1. Separate the egg whites and yolks.
    2. Thoroughly mix all the the ingredients (including yolks) except for the egg whites.
    3. Beat the egg whites till you have stiff peaks.
    4. Gently fold in the egg whites into the batter.
    5. Cook on medium-low heat.

    The pancakes went over so well, I prepared sourdough starter for pancakes on Sunday morning as well! Saturday’s non-sourdough pancakes tasted just like cake, while Sunday’s sourdough pancakes had a little tang. Both came out great!

    In making pancakes two days in a row, we were also honed in on the perfect cooking temperature (just a hair above dead center between medium and low).

    It’s slightly more hassle to beat the eggs, but the effort is worth it to avoid the baking soda. I’m curious if there are any more changes to be made.

    Then again, maybe I’ve landed upon the final recipe.

  • OPM.07 (notes on) The Hávamál, Codex Regius, 13th Century

    Moderate at council should a man be,
    Not brutal and over bearing;
    Among the bold the bully will find
    Others as bold as he.

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    ~

    (notes on) The Hávamál

    In this polarized moment, it is easy to forget that we share more than we diverge. Each individual is unique, but we are all human, and functioning societies have evolved to rhyme with each other.

    Proverbs blend the universal with the specific. These sayings give us a glimpse of the humanity of those outside our tribe, separated by distance and time.

    Recently, a friend shared some quotes from the Havamal on social media. The memes didn’t fit my mental stereotype of hard-charging, harder-drinking Vikings. Intrigued, I dug up a translation by W. H. Auden. The Havamal was indeed a delightful compilation of such proverbs, akin to the wisdom books in the Bible.

    Given my love of aphorisms, I was particularly drawn to the first half – a mix of world-weary proverbs advising honor, caution, cynicism, and practical wisdom. The second half changes in tone and holds a visionary power, especially the passage of Odin sacrificing himself to himself.

    To be fair, it isn’t all roses; a couple of passages are demeaning towards women. However we are not slaves to the ancients, and these sayings can be recast as relevant as gender-neutral warnings to be wary of our own urges.

    As our society becomes more secular, we risk identifying ourselves too tightly with our professions. We see ourselves as vessels of our income-generating activities. Even worse, we might view others in light of their utilitarian offerings.

    These proverbs remind us that each person is a tapestry far more richer than a canned response to “what do you do?”

    In my three years as an Owner Project Manager, I have been constantly reminded this is a relationship profession. The final goal is an edifice of glass, steel, and concrete, but the art is in working with people who carry their own hopes, dreams, and fears.

    At our best, an OPM should push this temporary tribe towards excellence in moment, leading them towards greater opportunities in the next project.

    A kind word need not cost much,
    The price of praise can be cheap;
    With half a loaf and an empty cup
    I found myself a friend    .

    ~

    One Question

    What are are the references of wisdom in your life?

    To ask well, to answer rightly,
    Are the marks of a wise man:
    Men must speak of men’s deeds,
    What happens may not be hidden.

    Hit reply and let’s chat!

    ~

    Three Links

    Peter Hayashida wrote a lovely meditation his career and life in general as he was wrapping up his work at UC Riverside.

    Writer CJ Chilvers has a post of Personal Publishing Principles. Each of us should do create a similar manifesto for our work.

    The Voyager satellites included a golden record of sounds from earth. It is also posted on youtube.

    … and a photo.

    Mahjong Tiles, Las Vegas, August 2021
    My son spent an afternoon building up and knocking down walls of these tiles. My grandparents gave me this Mahjong set twenty-five years ago.

    ~

    Thanks for reading the OPM letter! I’d love to have a conversation if you have any feedback. I hope you found some prompts to stretch your craft and relationships as a curious Owner PM. See you next week!

    Stay humble, be kind, and keep experimenting!
    Justus Pang, RA