GRIZZLY PEAR
It seems that a midlife crisis is an common occurrence in our culture, especially with the prospect of turning forty this year.
I wonder this new gig with its attendant change in status and pay will stave off the inevitable.
But once I get comfortable in the gig, will it come?
I guess I’ll find out.
Maybe I just need to stay being uncomfortable?
Maybe I’m already in the middle of it!
I was outside an old industrial park and I noticed a chalk line on the slab outside one of the storefront doors.
It was about an inch back from face of the finish so I suspect it was the line of the studs when they did a refresh of the place. That would make this chalk line maybe two decades old?
I’m certain it survived over the years because this tenant had two doors, and this door was typically locked and unused. But still, that’s a long time for a chalk line to hang around!
Sometimes our most insignificant marks last much longer than we could imagine.
A few weeks ago, we went out to Willow Beach to look at the wildflowers. It’s about an hour away from our place, and I was sitting in the back row of the Odyssey.
I couldn’t sleep, so I started surfing the phone.
I didn’t get the headache I normally get from reading in a moving car (I don’t have that problem in airplanes or busses).
One the one hand that’s kind of cool, but I’m not sure having yet another place I can be in touch with the internet is a good thing.
Like everyone else I’m trying to cut back.
Yesterday, we went to the annual World Tai Chi day festivities at the Delmar Gardens.
This time, some of the familiar faces weren’t there.
But then again, some of them were. And I got to introduce my daughter to my new teachers (at least when I can make it to class).
As the calendar continues its march through the year, many more such moments are due for the school.
Such is the fate of life I guess….
On another note, I ran into a coffee acquaintance and he mentioned that one of his former coworkers had started with another shop, just earlier that week. It really is a small valley, everybody is somehow connected in multiple ways.
I’ve been watching and rewatching some tai chi videos from my school to relearn the 48 form they teach. It would have been a whole lot easier (and better!) if I just kept practicing and I don’t have to relearn it every couple years. That said, it has been good to go over some things which I never really got figured out correctly in the first place.
Also my wife and I just watched Paprika. We watched it a decade ago in the theater. I still have no idea what just happened, but dang it’s a glorious spectacle.
The little marsh pheasant
Must hop ten times
To get a bite of grain.She must run a hundred steps
Before she takes a sip of water.
Yet she does not ask
To be kept in a hen run.Though she might have all she desired
Set before her.She would rather run
The Way of Chuang Tzu, translated by Thomas Merton, pages 48 & 49
And seek her own little living
Uncaged.
A good challenge to those of us in comfortable jobs. Being part of an organization may be a great opportunity to do things one couldn’t do on their own.
But it could also be a trap, especially for someone like me, who has fairly conservative tendencies.
I woke up this morning with multiple things on my list. Everything needed to be addressed. Now.
I had barely enough discipline to perfunctorily exercise for a few minutes and a deep breath and look at my things to do list.
And then I started to jump in.
But then I felt thirsty and went to the kitchen to heat up some water.
And then I realized I forgot something.
Why hello world!
After blogging daily for half a year I’ve made it less dangerous to miss the commitment.
By blogging a couple times each morning for a few weeks, I now have a four week backlog of scheduled articles. And I even have a few half baked blog drafts that I could deploy relatively easily if I miss a day.
I wonder if I’m missing an edge to the writing because I no longer have a sharp deadline of all or nothing every single morning.
But maybe that would be an unnecessary artificial constraint. I’ve already made a mental commitment to blog every morning (at least until the solstice). Trying to satisfy that commitment is plenty enough, without the stakes of actually having nothing to publish that given morning.
Who knows, maybe I should should be looking for other thrills, such as sharing my blog posts to others, and seeing what their feedback may be.
In times of polarization it is easy to forget that “they” versus “us” are concepts that change with scale.
Nation, State, County, City, Neighborhood.
Our political parties encompass different levels of extremes which themselves have competing factions.
Our religions have different sects with individuals who have differing priorities.
While we view other races as monolithic blocs, we make fine distinctions between the different groups of our own race.
When we forget how fluidly we navigate between all these different versions of “us”, we begin to stagnate into a fragmented tribalism. But this is merely an illusion that allows us to assign evil to the others.
Shift the framing slightly, and they are us.
We’ve recently joined online group with a farm that sells produce direct to market.
In the back of our minds we understand thatwe’re all interconnected in this digital web.
But this example jumps into our physical world, highlighting the invisible crisscrossing connections that surround us.
Because you eat the results of this network.
They were good oranges.