The knives in our house were ridiculously dull, so I finally took took to the internet. YouTube did not fail*.
As with any varied collection of DIY videos, I was confronted with a conflicting advice that could have frozen me to inaction**. I could have been intimidated by my lack of good equipment. Fortunately, the knives were so dull I was forced to do something.
I grabbed our cheap stone*** and sharpened.
I started with 5 pounds of pressure**** on each side. Try putting that much pressure on a kitchen scale. No joke. Once a blade was back to mediocre, I ran descending passes (ten to one) on both sides of knife on both sides of the whetstone — 220 in total for this second phase.
Repeat that process for a house full of knives. My forearms were sore***** the next day.
But I had a meat cleaver that could cut paper******.
So over the top, but so satisfying******.
~
*A basic search led to a beginner’s tutorial by Joshua Weissman, then warnings against beginner mistakes by Ethan Chlebowski, and finally in Burrfection’s extensive library.
**On the other hand, the algorithm fed me videos sharpening the silliest things, like a cardboard box. At least my knives were made of metal.
***Two years later and I’m still using our cheap whetstone. I should spend a $40 Japanese whetstone to see what I’m missing. But that would force me to buy at least one knife that cost as much as the stone…and that’s how the damn hedonic treadmill gets started.
****Burrfection recommends against putting so much weight on a knife while grinding. Pick your poison.
*****I now use my legs in an extremely shallow “bow and arrow stance” to shift my whole body back and forth, minimizing the effort in my arms. That’s about the extent of my martial arts now.
******After writing the initial draft, I chopped up a batch of bad apples for composting. Wow, the new knives were scary sharp. I didn’t notice the seeds as I sliced through the cores.
*******I sharpen the kitchen knives about every other month whenever my wife makes a big meat purchase from Costco. I don’t know how we lived years with such dull blades.